Issue #3: Pages 3 & 4

The schoolś auditorium was being remodeled so we gathered in the church. Mrs. Haghdal climbed the pulpit. Behind her, a life size rendering of Christ on the cross was brightly lit. She stood with her wrinkled face in darkness and spoke into the microphone. Most of you shouldnt be here. This meeting only concerns a few of you. So if anyone knows who has been making the mess in the bathroom, you can thank him for wasting your time. there is no reason for it! Do you know how to urinate properly? Can anyone tell the filthy animal how to use a urinal int he correct manner? Peter, a dullard in the eighth grade, stood up. Ok first you position yourself and then you unzip your pants pull out your dingaling, and uh aim, and then... Thankyou Peter! That is the important step, aim! Laughter filled the church. Next matter of business. Someone has been fooling with the sinks so that the cold water doesn work.